Sliding

Results for the health screening were all good! Yeah!

But I had been referred to NNI for a on-off headaches, giddiness and nauseousness.

Went for a MRI today, my 1st. Lied down on the machine. Had my ear plugged. Put on the headphones with really soothing music, machiam in heaven kind. Then I felt myself being slide into the machine. The feeling I get is really surreal….”Like I’m lying in a coffin sliding in to the incinerator to be cremated”. Or like CSI, people going to the morgue to identify body…..

An experience I’ll never forget. Mortality….

Her last laugh

There was a time when I could still hear her laugh…

It was probably 4th or 5th year into mom’s illness where we put her at the landed house. I was a frequent visitor then, sometimes popping up everyday. She already lost her ability to speak but was still not on PEG.

While I was seated by her bedside, she used to stare into the empty walls and ceiling. I couldn’t get her to look at me even if I stroke her hands. Until I came up with an idea…..

Me: “(looking at the direction where she is staring)….what….what is it?”

Me: “(looking at her)…..what….what is it?”

Mom still refusing to look at my direction and continues to stare at the empty walls and ceiling.

Me: “What?….Ma! Don’t scare me leh….what are you looking at?

Me: (looking at the direction where she is still staring)….what?

Me: “You see ghost is it? Don’t scare me leh!!!”

Mom burst out laughing…..

And that was the last laugh I heard from her.

All I hear from her now are moans…..perhaps this is the only sound she can make now.

Is it all bad?

Its been a long long while……

Everytime I log in and attempt to write, somehow all the bad things came to my mind, like mom’s having fever again, like the cost of home nursing her, that mom’s body is not fighting the slightest virus she encounter thus the fever. Which explains why I have been shunning away from blogging.

At times, I want to feel good too. And I want to remember the good things when I revisit this blog. And I want this blog to put a smile me!

Just like newspapers, for the past months, we have been reading retrenchments, low economic forecast, profits down, loss reported…..blah blah blah…..all the bad news!!

But I believe there are always something good out there, for us to feel that there is hope.

Recently, I decided to go for a health screening. Something which I wanted to do for quite some time but as us humans, we procrastinate. The last time I had my health screening was back in 2002 or something. All’s well then.

I search for the cheapest health screening package because to me, these tests are all sent to the same laboratory in Singapore – Qwest Laboratories. So, it makes no difference to go to any private clinics or whatsoever, the same lab techs will be running your blood in the same machines. Well, unless I am going to hospitals which some have in-house laboratories. Therefore, the only difference is the doctor attending to you, explaining the results, etc. which I think, I can live with a not-so-competent doctor in this case. Afterall, health screening is perhaps another marketing avenue for doctors to provide treatment (and make mmoney) if test results are found unsatisfactory. So, I think I can handle a “not-so-good” doctor.

So after much googling, I settled with Choa Chu Kang Polyclinic health screening with a Basic Fit package of $68. I added 2 cancer markers and the bill came about $168. Appointment was made to their hotline, thus no queueing is required!! YAY!

Then same Swine Flu. (See! Bad news again!!) I contemplated changing my appointment to a later date not because I am concerned of getting myself exposed to the virus and dread the mask wearing, filling up declaration forms, etc. I had been through SARS while mom’s was hospitalised so I kinda know the protocol.

But I braved it!! =_=

Upon arriving CCK Polyclinic, I saw a short queue with masked Cisco officers and health attendants. After going through all the protocol for Swine Flu, I proceeded to scan my IC at the registration and waited for my number. But who knows, I actually didn’t need to do that. I just need to proceed directly to the Health Screening Centre!! Arrghhh!

At the health screening centre, everything looks spanking new, and with air-condition!! The whole of Polyclinic is naturally ventilated, a good move to save NHG a hefty bill for utilities. So when I entered and sensed my current best friend AKA Mr Airconditioner, I had a smile on my face!! heehee!!

I got to know from the counter staff that the healthscreening centre is actually NEW!! 3 months old I heard! So the sofas, medical equipments, and even the walls, showeds no signs of abuse.

I had to fast the night before and didn’t had my breakfast. So, after my blood, ECG (surprising they used 11 probes), urine, weight, height, etc. were taken, I was asked to have my breakfast. They actually prepared 2 sandwiches (wholemeal bread with egg mayo and tuna) and a 3-in-1 coffee. I was pleasantly surprised. Of course, this compares nothing to the buffet spread that private hospital like Raffles hospital offers. But, I can say, its not bad!!

Making payment was a breeze because the cashier is within the health screening centre itself. No need to take another queue number!! YAY! Staff was polite but their workflow seems a little off. She explained to me that Bukit Batok polyclinic is under renovation so most of the patients were transferred to Choa Chu Kang, thus making it crowded. But to me, her explanation doesn’t make sense! Yes, its crowded….but at the health screening centre. I can see horde of people waiting for their turn outside the doctors consultations rooms, waiting for their number called. But here!?? Health screening centre?? Besides myself, I only saw 2 more patients!!

Anyhow, I have a follow up session with the same doctor when my results are out. 2 weeks later…till then!!

Just Another Mother’s Day Dinner

Mother’s Day is this coming Sunday.

Friends were asking me if there are any good recommendations for a restaurant, which I threw a couple of names.

I, myself, will be having the usual Mother’s Day dinner with my in-laws, probably at some restaurant too.

Somehow, recently, it had sinked into me too much that I missed my mom. I haven’t had dinner with her for the longest time, several years! And yet, in the past, I always seems to skip dinners that she prepared.

I still remember once she steamed threadfin fish. One of my favourite and one of my mom’s specialty. It is nothing fantastic but threadfin fish has been a regular fish that mom always cooked. Easy to eat without much bones and it taste great. I can eat up the skins too. Coming back to that threadfin fish that she cooked on that particular day. By the time I was home, probably late around 10pm, I saw food on the table. But I already had my dinner and the food mom prepared were just left untouched. I felt bad. And I remembered vividly what she said:

“This fish is very fresh. I bought it this morning. This small slice cost $8. You all so wasteful. Don’t want to eat.”

The next thing I knew, she ate the fish because no one is going to finish it anyway and it will be going down the rubbish bin.

Thinking back……..it brought tears to my eyes.

I had never really brought my mom out for dinner. A mother’s day dinner. She would be so proud of me.

Mom, having been in the F&B business for 2 decades and knowing all the big names in the industry, would be so proud to introduce me to her compatroits. Just like she did when she proudly told the doctor in the hospital that I’m her daughter, even telling him my age, what I was doing, etc……Machiam like matchmaking.

I just wished I had the chance to bring her out for dinner. Family Dinner, such as simple thing, yet we hardly find time to do it.

Similar trends

After 2 continuous weeks of medical attention – nurse, doc, IV, antibiotics, medication, tests, Mom’s has finally showed signs of recovery. Her red blood cells are now at 8.4 compared to the earlier 7. Though not a very healthy number, it is still an improvement.

Looks like her conditions follow the trends in the stock market. Just when I heard the stock market is doing better in the past week, so does my mom…..and that’s before burning almost $3000 from my pocket for these treatments. =_=

More treatments

After putting mom on oral antibiotics and dripping 20 drops of iron into her feeding, all doesn’t seems to work.

Mom is showing resistence in the oral antibiotics CIPRO. After 5 days of dosage, the UTI is still lingering in her body.

So, we were advised to an intravenous (IV) antibiotic treatment and intravenous iron supplement. Nurse came everyday for a total of 5 days to perform these IV treatments. And yet, the red blood cells didn’t seems to increase.

We also added “Propass”, a protein supplement, in hope that the body will produce more blood.

So, what’s next if the blood count is still low? Blood transfusion?

Internal Bleeding

Looks like the recent infection is a serious one…..not the usual UTI.

Blood test results show pretty low red blood cells, standing currently at 7 compared to the acceptable 14.

Doc suspected internal bleeding, which may be caused by PEG. Mom has been put on Omeprazole (ZIMOR) ever since she had her PEG surgery done. Her dosage had been 1 pill per day. Now, she had increased it to 4 pills a day.

Well, Doc also prescribe iron tablets. When one looses blood, one looses iron too. Internal bleeding may lead to iron-deficiency anemia.

All these made me recall an incident where mom suddenly had blood discharge from her vagina. We were actually quite shocked to see blood. I thought it was menstration, but mom is already 65! And it was only 1 off. I told the doc about it and was asked to monitor if it persist. This may also contribute to the blood loss and the low red blood cells.

Today, more tests were to be done. We collected her stools to get a feccal occult blood test. This will show us if there is any ileeding in the intestines, especially she’s on PEG.

I actually lost sleep yesterday over this matter. Doc told us her immediate step is to pump up her iron in her body in order for her to produce more red blood cells. If this doesn’t work, she may have 2 other options, depending on what is the cause of the bleeding:

1. If blood loss is due to a growth in the intestines, surgery may be needed to remove it.
2. Hormone therapy if it is derived that the blood loss is due to a severe menstral bleeding.
3. Blood transfusion for severe anemia and immediate results but its a temporal treatment. Doc will need to find the cause of the anemia.

I’m just hoping that there’s no growth in the intestines. And that pumping up her iron intake will simply solve the problem.

Infection again….

For the past 3 days, my mom had been having a fever. And this is the first sign that an infection is lingering…..

We popped Panadol in to control the temperature, in an attempt and hope that the infection is not a serious one. I have suspected Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), very common among the bedridden. After 3 days, the fever doesn’t seem to subside, so I dialed the home care doctor for a dose of CIPRO, an antibiotic.

Today, the home care doctor came and realised the infection may be more serious as she notices yellow mucus around the PEG area. Temperature is still lingering around 37.8 today. So, blood was taken to check if the infection had spread to the blood stream. The mucus was also collected for culturing. Looks like a stronger and different dose of antibiotic is required.

At the same time, we had noticed mom’s very frequent choking. She couldn’t swallow. She can only swallow when she make a cough, by then, her face will be so red that I’m afraid she will just choked! Her swallowing of her own saliva is getting tougher and tougher, so Doc suggested we get a suction pump to suck her phelgm out.

And now….I’m scouting for a suction pump….Anyone?

And 5 March came….

As I waited for 5 March to arrive, I made all the arrangements to bring mother to TTSH – NNI.

The current NNI is pretty much the same as the NNI I visited several years ago, except that the staff there looks more ‘free’ than any other clinics.

Registration at NNI is a breeze because there is no queue. Anyway, my mother’s appointment is at 930am. We waited till arround 1045am for our turn. Pretty usual in any clinics, I supposed. I got used to waiting and aniticipated more waiting to come that day.

We were allocated to Dr Au. But a research doctor, Dr Pika attended us first. He took all he vital information and I handed over all my mother’s past 6 years medical reports. Feeded with Dr Pika tonnes and tonnes of medical info. He is pretty patient and soft spoken. Then came the physical examination, Dr Pika lifted my mom’s arms and move around, in an attempt to observe her movements, I guess. The he proceeded with her legs, bending her at her knees. He also twisted my mom’s head, left right, left right, in a pretty hard and fast manner.

First of all, mom’s movements is very stiff and one will be met with resistance every time you move her, be it bending her elbows, or knees. She already had fractures in her elbow and ulna.

I was quite taken aback when I see Dr Pika moving my mom’s limbs in such a manner!

Anyway, Dr Pika left the room and talked to Dr Au (I assumed) in the next room and we waited. Then came Dr Au and Dr Pika together. As I have spoken to Dr Pika earlier on my intention for this consultation, I wanted to:

1. Get referral for a step down, home care doctor, since polyclinic does not do that and referred us to the hospital.
2. To get long term medication supplies.

Dr Au was able to provide me with the above, together with some options. He can refer me to a home care doctor, Renci, Touch Homecare and any other.

He also prescribed a year’s supplies, with collection every 3 or 6 months, without the need for other to consult a doctor first. I was overjoyed to hear this.

He even mentioned that I can continue to use my current home care doctor and he will leave an open date for the next appointment, probably go back to NNI in a year’s time.

Besides, he also addressed my mom’s condition. Hers is a degenerative disease. It will get worse. And ultimately, pneumonia. All these I had known. But I appreciate his words.

Paid at a counter in NNI for the consultations. Received a letter for a home care referral. And my brother came to pick mom and maid home. As for me, I proceeded to the Pharmacy, placing my queue number……and anticipating that the wait would be long, I went to get my lunch. Came back, waited a while more before I paid a total of about $100 for the 6 month’s supply of medicine.

By the time I left TTSH-NNI, it is about 1pm….with bag full of drugs and a sense of task-achieved……

Earliest Appointment

After the visit at CCK Polyclinic, I was waiting for my referral to the hospital. And the phone call came in the next day.

“The earliest appointment is on 5 March.”

That’s like 2 months away, I thought. But what to do? Wait lor.